Married with Kids: How to Maintain the Relationship with your Spouse when Children are Involved
Let’s get real here – there are only a few things as hard as being a parent. While you might think that going through puberty or dating a widower is the most difficult thing in life, try raising a couple of kids while also working a full-time job and taking care of every chore around the house.
Then, of course, there’s the problem of ensuring that the relationship you have with your spouse doesn’t die out due to neglecting. It’s not like anyone consciously lets their marriage fall to bits while keeping themselves busy with kids and life in general, but it’s still something to be concerned about.
In that name, here’s our take on what you can do to keep your relationship with your spouse alive even when children are involved.
Respect Tradition, Introduce Changes
It’s been proven over and over again that the best approach to solving any life crisis (or preventing one, for that matter) lies in finding the balance. In this instance, what you need to do is make sure that you don’t forget any sort of tradition you have with your spouse, but also to introduce new things here and there and surprise them every once in a while.
Here’s why both of these are important. First off, you’ll only show that you care about your partner if you take a day off work and leave the kids with your grandparents on the anniversary of your first date. By doing so, you’ll let your spouse know that you haven’t forgotten about the “good, old day” and that you too wish to spend more time with them.
On the other hand, it’s also wise to introduce some change to your relationship and routine. Instead of going to the same place every second Friday, switch it up a bit and book two seats at a restaurant neither of you has ever been to before. This kind of behavior will signalize that you’re actually thinking about the whole topic here and that you’re doing something to “liven up the place.”
Talk, but also Listen
The abovementioned methods are very useful when it comes to couples who have no internal issues and the only obstacle in their relationship is basically not having enough time for each other. However, in case you know or are suspecting that there might be a bigger underlying issue, you might have to bring out the big guns.
It might sound too simple to be effective, but it turns out that talking actually helps a lot in these situations. Remember, not arguing – talking. Speak your mind and state clearly what’s bothering you, because only then can you hope to come to a solution.
The other aspect of this is listening. Sometimes, this is much more important than talking, since we all know that a lot of relationships could’ve been saved if only one partner had the ears to listen to the problems of the other.