There is a profound, dizzying paradox that often accompanies falling in love when you carry past wounds: the very thing you have longed for most can simultaneously feel the most terrifying. When you care deeply for someone, your heart becomes a wide-open target.

For those who struggle with relationship anxiety, the honeymoon phase or the deepening of commitment is rarely pure, unadulterated ease. Instead, it can be accompanied by an exhausting internal soundtrack—waiting for the other shoe to drop, scanning your partner’s facial expressions for micro-shifts in mood, and battling a quiet, persistent urge to self-sabotage before someone else can …